Responsibility

Think back to the last time you got in trouble for anything. In that situation did you try to get out of it by placing the blame on someone else? I know for me that answer is yes. As humans we are constantly trying to put the blame off ourselves but, we are in good company here. In Genesis 3:12-13 Adam and Eve have just been caught eating from the forbidden tree and when God asks them about it they play the blame game. take a look. "The man answered "That woman, the one you gave me, gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the Lord God asked the woman, "What have you done?" "The snake deceived me, and I ate," The woman answered." This was my devo this morning from the God Girl book and let me tell you it hit me hard. I never take responsibility for myself. A lot of the time I blame the devil and while yes he does tempt me, I am the one that gives into temptation because I know I shouldn't cuss but, occasionally one pops into my head and I know I should respect my parents yet I still find myself yelling at them. There are more things I do that I know I shouldn't but here's the deal, I never once said "dang I messed up", I always say things like "That devil messes me up" but the reality is I did all those things. I messed up and I need to take responsibility. Owning up to your sins and asking for forgiveness is the very thing that brings us closer to God and being close to him is my greatest desire so, starting today I will no longer be blaming anyone but myself for my slip ups. I know this will be hard but, I'm going to pray my way through it so that I don't put any space between me and my Abba.

Confession time

So for Christmas this year my Mom got me a devo book because she is awesome and she knows me. It's called God Girl and I started it today. It's a year long journey that I have committed to. Now day one's devo was about confession and let me tell you I sort of rolled my eyes at this at first. I mean Catholics do confession not this Southern Baptist girl but, as I continued to read I realized confession is something this girl really needed to do right now. I'm afraid. I'm afraid and I have began to let this fear control me. I have let this fear turn a beautiful God given calling into something twisted and seemingly unreachable for me. I have been praying like I trust God but worrying like I don't (thank you Jacob for that). So tonight I confessed to God that I am just plain old scared to do what he has asked me to do. The task seems too big and I seem way too small. Well this brought me back to that passage in Exodus when Moses is telling God that he cannot tell the Egyptians about God because he is not an eloquent speaker but God's reply sends chills down my spine. He tells Moses in Exodus 4:12 "Now go; I will help you speak and teach you what to say." That's so true for us today. Maybe you're not struggling with speaking to people like Moses but, this passage reminds us that if we are doing God's will and living out his plans he isn't just going to abandon us. He wants us to be successful and lets face it, we just can't do that without him. So yeah I am too small to conquer the big tasks ahead of me but, God is bigger than anything I can possibly be faced with and knowing I am in God's will I am flooded with the relief that my Abba won't leave me and that he will conquer all. And that my friends gives me the strength to do what I can't and the courage to face my fears.

Attitude...

Attitude..it's something that as a teenager I struggle with a lot. My mom is constantly telling me to check my attitude but, what I never realized is that attitude greatly effects my relationship with God but, these last few days, I've come to notice that it really does. I have been struggling in some of my earthly relationships and I have just had a really negative, unchristlike attitude and I kind of took it out on God. In the midst of those struggles I began to feel like God had left me to deal with it all alone and instead of trusting in Him and what His word says, I began to have a really negative attitude towards Him and got really angry that He would leave me and got totally freaked out all because some "feeling" was no longer there. I lost the "feeling" because of my negative attitude. I had decided that everyone had abandoned me including God and refused to feel His presence. James 4:8 says "Come near to God and he will come near to you." That's one of my favorite verses because it reminds me that all I have to do is come to Him and He is there but, my negative attitude blocked that out and I lost sight of it. It's crazy to me that I let some fights with friends erase 18 years worth of my relationship with Abba. Paul is one of my favorite Bible heroes. He endured so much pain and suffering yet, he never complained or had a bad attitude about it. He just took what came and praised God. In Philippians 2:5 Paul writes "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus". He definantly walked that out, so what about us? Well clearly I need to work on my Christ like attitude and I definantly will be. What about you? Praise God today for all He has blessed you with. That's an easy way to remember that He loves you and never leaves you, and that will surely help get your attitude back on track:)

Needs

So I work in a Kindergarten class a couple of days a week and it's the most fun ever. If you haven't been around kids much, let me just tell you kindergarten is a really fun age. They're so funny and everything is new to them. Well this week in kindergarten we discussed wants and needs. This concept was not easy for them to grasp. You try convincing a five year old that a spider man castle is not completly neccessary! It's not easy but, when I thought about it I realized that even as teenagers and adults we often confuse the two but, I'm not here to tell you this world is materialistic. As true as that is I simply cannot preach to you on an area I struggle so much with. But here is where I'm going with this, tonight my youth group went caroling and I had so much fun and spent time with my awesome friends and when I got home I was reflecting on all this and listening to "Healing is in Your Hands" by Christy Nockels, and I became overwhelmed by my NEED to spend intimate, alone time with my Abba. As tears poured down my face I pulled out my prayer journal and just poured out my heart to my Father in heaven who just wanted to listen and surrond me and hold me up. I spend a lot of time with my Abba but, sometimes it's just out of routine or the fact that I feel like I have to but, tonight I NEEDED him to the point that my heart and soul ached for him and tears flooded the pages of my journal. We should want to spend time with God but, in reality it is a need. Just like the song says healing really is in his hands. He really really loves us and it was in those soul aching moments spent in prayer with him that I became overwhelmed all over again by him. I need him, I want him too but, I actually need him. Without him my heart aches. We all need to realize just how much we need him. He is wonderful and loving and beautiful. Don't let your need for him in your life go without being met:)

Thankful

So I'm sitting in my house this lovely night before thanksgiving and I'm surrounded by family I haven't seen in years and the sounds of sleepy babies and little girls playing fairies and I'm just overwhelmed at how completley blessed beyond belief I am. I'm also overwhelmed by the fact that all this blessing came from God. God who gave his son on the cross so that I can live again with him forever also gave me all of these things. I am just so undeserving but also thankful! I know its majorly cliche for me to reflect on this at thanksgiving but come on, I just can't help it. As I type this my heart is swelling with God's love. His love that gave me the sweet little baby cousins who have been smiling at me all day, and that gave me my mom who has been diligently working in the kitchen all day, and the family that encourages me in my walk with Christ constantly. It's just so awesome! I don't deserve any of this, in all actuality I deserve a far worse fate that involves a never ending thirst and burning heat and a whole other surplus of rather unplesant things but instead I get all this joy on earth AND heaven with my Abba. All I can say is it's crazy! I don't understand God's love at all but, I'll take it and praise him for it. What are you thankful for this thanksgiving? Take a minute and thank God for all you've been blessed with. If nothing else thank him for his love:) Happy Thanksgiving.

No more funk:)

Okay so if you read my blog fairly regularly you know that I get stuck in yucky moods that I like to call funks quite often. It's pretty terrible and I can stay in them for days and it really is frustrating. Well I began my week with a terrible Monday in which supposed friends were rude to me and really hurt my feelings and I couldn't shake me upset feeling and I began to just feel beaten up. Well I shared this with my good friend today and he gave me some insight that changed my view on my funks completley. He told me that my funks are just satan trying to attack me because I'm growing and that the attacks will continue until I show satan that I am strong in my God and that he can't get me down and I am going to have joy in everything. Now maybe I should have realized this earlier but, I'm telling you this realization made my day! It's so cool to think that if I have joy instead of letting my funks get me down then I will no longer have these moods! It's just so awesome! He also shared with me the verse Hebrews 11:6 which says "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists and he rewards those who earnestly seek Him." I know that I'm not being faithful when I'm stuck in my funks, instead I'm turning from God and letting satan win which clearly does not please God. From now on I am going to earnestly seek God which means being joyful no matter what satan throws at me:) If you struggle like I do then I encourage you to do the same thing.

The Power of Prayer

Prayer. I talk about it a lot and I most certainly do it a lot. Occasionally it's because I feel like it's my job as a Christian but that kind of prayer is mundane and does no good for my heart or my relationship with God. What I'm talking about is real prayer where I pour my heart out to God and he listens. Colossians 4:2 says "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." The word that most catches my attention there is devote. Devote means to apply or dedicate oneself to some pursuit or cause. How often do we actually devote ourselves to prayer? Have we dedicated ourselves to it? I know personally my answer to that would most of the time have to be no but, how cool would it be if we all actually did devote ourselves to prayer? Prayer is powerful! I have first hand experience with how powerful it really is and guys it's truly awesome to watch God work in situations of turned over to him in prayer. But lets not just be prayerful, lets pray powerful prayers! Lets devote ourselves to praying the types of prayers we as christians so often avoid because we are afraid God really will answer them. It's time to stop holding so tightly onto this world and our lives here and just give ourselves over to God. Prayer is the best way I've found to do that and powerful prayer is what has led me to the place I'm in today. God wants to hear from us. That fact alone astounds me but, the fact that he wants to work in our lives is the part that's really impressive. Why not let him?

Joy:)

Alright so I've spent sometime thinking about God's will and praying today and while yes I could go on and on about why those two things are so challenging I don't feel led to do that right now(maybe later). Something else I've thought about today is how often I experience spritual highs and lows and how my lows almost always lead me farther and farther away from God. I hate that fact and it makes me feel extremely guilty and angry at myself. Now here is the really cool thing, God always welcomes me back! He really does! He never pushes me away or makes me feel bad, he simply opens his arms and pulls me to him and holds on tight. God really loves you, like a lot! It's demonstrated for us in Luke chapter 15 verses 11-32. It's the parable of the lost son and I've talked about these verses before but the love demostrated by the father to the son really gets me because that's how my heavenly father feels about me. When the father says "But we have to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; He was lost and is found." The fact that this is how God feels when we come crawling back to him excites me! He doesn't get mad, or disappointed he simply gets excited and showers me with his love! He feels me up with the greatest joy I've ever known! I want to let his joy radiate through me because it feels me up to the point that I am overflowing and it's awesome! I challenge you to get back to God and let him feel you up with his love and have his joy feel you up:)

Missions

Sorry I have been slacking on posting the last month. I have no other excuse except that October has been a crazy month. Between school work, extracurricular activities and working on college applications I've been letting other commitments fall away but, I will try to refrain from doing that again.
Okay so on to what this post is about, Missions. Missions is my calling. Seriously God has called me into missions, which is scary and makes me uncomfortable but, also excited and passionate. I can think of no better way to spend my life. Now maybe you're not called to spend your life in foreign countries doing missions like I am but, let me assure you, whatever you're called to do you're called to be a missionary. Acts 1:8 says"But you will recieve power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." See, Jesus tells us that wherever we are and whatever we're doing, as Christians we are supposed to be witnesses for him! Pretty cool huh? That includes teachers, firemen, highschoolers, even Walmart workers. As Christians our purpose in life should not be to make the most money we can or marry the right person or have the perfect family but, to win souls for the kingdom of God and trust that God will take care of the rest and his good and perfect will, will be done. In Acts 20:22-24 Paul says "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem,not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Pretty cool right? Paul has the kind of passion for soul winning that we should all have. Do I want to sit in prison? Negative. But hey if I have to sit in prison because I was sharing the gospel then I say lock me up because that's a pretty noble thing to go in for. I'm not afraid of what my future in missions holds for me because I know who is in control and my Abba will have his way in me but, what race are you running? Are you ready to step out and face the hardships that may come with being mission minded? I challenge you take take this call seriously and see what God can do through you for his kingdom:)

Tuesday Poosday

So happy Tuesday. It's not been a terrible day but, I have to say that Tuesdays are not fun at all! I just want it to be Friday. I have had the hardest time just focusing(as you will notice this post will be scattered). It's truly awful and I hate this feeling but, on the plus side I'm having a pretty good week. Today I had to take a few minutes and just refocus. Have you ever gone through those times where you just needed like ten minutes to just be alone with your brain? Yeah well I did that today but, instead of being alone with my brain I turned it into time just being alone with my Savior. My pastor(good ole Dan Dan the preacher man) challenged me to do just this and I took the challenge and guys let me just say...it was incredible. I just gave up all these stresses and time consumers and distractions and God just revealed himself to me. I didn't have a huge spiritual breakthrough or anything guys but, I just refocused my week and gave up everything. So I challenge all of you who are reading this to spend sometime alone with Abba(That means no cell phone, facebook,music, ect.) and just focus on Him and being with Him. He loves you and He craves this kind of attention from you. Focus on him and I promise you will learn more about Him and yourself:)

Lazy Saturday

As I type this right now I am laying lazily on my bed listening to music and reflecting on my week. I have no idea where my week went to be honest. I had it planned out and I just followed my plan and then boom the week was over. It's so strange to me that I just go through each day so unaware and only focused on what I have to get done. What's weird is I don't consider myself a selfish person generally but, now that I am thinking about it I am faced with the fact that I am incredibly selfish. My awseome youth pastor got my attention with these fun facts this week-1.There are over 4.5 billion people right now who don't know Jesus Christ. 2.There are ovr 2.7 billion people who have never had even the opportunity to know him. These facts hit me hard. If this is the case in our world then we as christians are not doing our job. We are called to take the word of the Lord to the nations. Now I know not everyone is called to go to foreign countries and do missions like I am but, there are a lot of things we can do from the comfort of our own communities. Aside from offering prayer and financial support to those who are doing international mission work, we need to consider what we can do in our towns. What about that elderly neighbor who is hurting or that kid at lunch who sits all alone? Believe it or not this is a huge mission field. How hard is it to go visit your elderly neighbor and just spend sometime with them or ask someone if they would like to sit with you? These kinds of small things make us different. This is how we let our lights shine and spread Christ's love. I challenge you to pray that God would use you to make a difference for him and his glory. Ask him to use you and then take the opportunites he gives you.

Suprise Weekend Post!

Nice huh? I don't usually post on the weekends and even as I write this I have no idea where it will go I just found myself in my room with some free time(Shocking I know!) and decided to spend a few minutes with this here blog.
So it has beed a busy,stressful,weird week but, I have finally, by the grace of God, made it out of the awful funk that consumed me this week. I have never in my life been in that kind of funk for en entire school week! It was terrible but, I am moving on now.
So, last night was Friday night, and in my little small town world that means Friday Night Football (we won our game:) Love my Jackets) and a rousing good time socializing, dancing to the bands music, and pulling my own hair out. Yes, it is a blast thanks for asking! I seriously had the best night and on top of that my best friend came home from college for the weekend and did I mention we dominated last night? Seriously I look around at my life a feel truly blessed! Funk or no funk my God loves me and has blessed me beyond belief...That radical thought gets me all choked up I wont lie.(Maybe that makes me an emotional girl, whatever.) I deserve none of this, what I deserve is to spend an eternity in a terrible place, miserable but, because my Savior loves me I not only get to spend my eternity with him in paradise but, I also have a pretty great life here on earth. That is insane to me. It's like the Parable of the Lost Son in Matthew. This kids dad gave him everything he ever desired and still the kid wanted more so he took his enheritance and left his father's house to find his own way. Well that so obviously did not work for him and he was soon crawling back to his father with nothing. Now if I was that father my son would have to just keep on walking but, this father ran out to meet his son, clothed him in his best robes, served him a feast, and welcomed him back. He even rejoiced that his lost son had returned! Crazy right? Well it's this kind of crazy love that our heavenly father feels for us! Just in case you didn't catch that let me repeat it- Our heavenly father died for us and we forsake him everyday and still he welcomes us back to him with open arms! If that doesnt excite you I have no idea what will. In return all God asks from us is our lives, which to me, seems like a pretty small price to live forever in paradise with the God of the Universe. I'm willing and waiting on him. I have given my life to him and his will, and I wont lie it's kinda scary but, if our God is with us what do we have to fear? Have you given it all to him?

Blah...

So I haven't blogged much this week, partly because I have been pretty darn busy and partly because I have been in this funky mood. Now I'm a pretty moody person I'm not going to lie but, I have been stuck in a terrible mood for three days and it has been awful. I have tried to beat it and I have only found two remedies:1. Hanging out with my hilarious friends and 2. Spending time with Abba.
I love my friends but, I feel like I have made that perfectly clear to you guys(see other posts) but, I'm telling you if you're in a funk nothing is better that spending time with those who always love you and like to laugh with you. Now I can't lie to you, this remedy is pretty temporary and only really lasts as long as your friends are around and maybe five minutes after but, by the time you get in your car and drive anywhere significant you're off of that friend high and back in your funk. So now enters the second remedy, spending time with Abba. He knows our hearts like no other so while I was in this awful mood for no reason that I could really think of I just decided to spend sometime in my Bible and in prayer and guys I'm telling you it totally helped! I'm not going to lie and say everything was fixed and I'm now all happy again but, I will tell you God showed me where this funk was coming from and reminded me that through everything he is with me. Now yes I'm still in my funky mood a little but, when I think about the fact that my Savior is holding my hand through it and healing my heart I feel significantly better:)

Busy Busy Busy

So yeah I'm totally busy these days. I didn't even get a break on the weekend..I was busy all the way through. So when I woke up this morning I felt even more tired than when I laid down last night. Ugh! It's just oh so frustrating and I hate starting my week like that. So I just had to do a reality check and get over it. I can't slow anything down but, something else I can't do is let my relationship with Christ suffer because I'm so busy. I need to find time daily to spend with him, he deserves it. Actually he deserves so much more but hey I'm human so my life is all I have to give. This is super difficult for me though. I just get caught up in my little life and wrapped up in being a highschool senior that I just don't give all I have to my Savior. Well after a pretty bleek weekend filled with very little time spent with my Savior, a friend of mine reminded me that I am only here to serve God and let his light shine. We are called to be the salt and light of this world and there is a lot of meat out there in the darkness waiting to be salted.(As funny as this sounds, think about it) Lets not forget why we are here. I challenge you who are reading this to not let your relationship with Christ fall away and make a difference in the world,your schools,your family, anywhere, for God.

Almost Friday!

As a senior on highschool I find myself anticipating Friday even if it's only Monday. Tomorrow starts football season at my school and we're playing our cross town rival. Now if you know me you know I go to football games to socialize mostly but, as a football coaches daughter I find myself concerned for the outcome of every game. If we win it means Dad is in a good mood, if we lose it means a not so fun week in my household. And its not just in my house that winning matters. At my school winning Friday night football games is a big deal. We like to win so that we can say we are the best. I mean really who likes to lose? Winning is fun, it makes us feel important but, do we make to big of a deal out of winning? I find that my best learning experiences happen when I lose. Lets look at Peter, He was a really awesome dude who took up his cross and followed Jesus. He loved Jesus and Jesus loved him but, when Peter was faced with having to choose sticking with Jesus or denying him, he denied him! Now I know you're probably thinking what a loser! I know that's what I thought when I read that the first time but, Peter took it as a learning experience and it strengthed his witness. He devoted the rest of his life to following Christ and telling others about him. That's pretty cool and what I would call a lessoned learned. Lets see what Jesus can teach us today and not think of every losing situation as a loss but, instead as a chance to learn a lesson for Christ.

Friends!

Okay so when I think about writing about myself there are a lot of things I could tell you about. I could tell you about my school but, seriously it's highschool, it's awful enough said. I could tell you about my family but, my mother might kill me for telling everyone about how crazy we are(not saying that will stop me from sharing it with you guys later:)) There are tons of other subjects that could be fun to explore but, I thought I would tell you about the people God has surrounded me with..my friends:)
So, I have had lots of friends in my 18 years of life but, none like I have now. Seriously these guys are awesome. When they met me I was someone completely different. I was surrounded by darkness and sin and these awesome people reached into my darkness and pulled me out. They seriously get me, which makes our friendship a true gift from God because I can be a rather complicated person.
How often have you considered the fact that who you surround yourself with influences you? The fact that my friends love Jesus and shine for him daily really got my attention and changed my perspective. They helped me realize that I needed the unending love of my Savior. John 15:12 says "My command for you is this: Love each other as I have loved you." That's a tall order my friend! Jesus died for us and that's exactly how we are called to love! WOW...can you say scary? But it's really not when you think about it. I love my friends and I praise God for giving them to me, so yes I would lay down my life for them. I encourage you to check out John chapter 15 and consider your own friendships and how you're being influenced.

Welcome to my blog

So I have no idea why your on my blog, either you just happened on it or your someone I told about it in my excitement of starting a blog but, no matter who you are or why you're reading it welcome! I'm nothing more than your average girl living in the South but, seeing how I'm now a senior in high school i decided to start a blog, I mean really there is no time like the present.
Today I was reading in Genesis in my bible because me and some of my best friends decided that while we are seniors we would embark on a year long journey to read God's word cover to cover and let me just tell you, easier said than done buddy. In the midst of struggling through another chapter of endless names and random places I have never in my life heard of, I came across the story of Abraham. Now Abraham was a really cool dude and God loved him in a real and intense way. Well in Genesis chapter 22 God tests Abraham. He tells him to take his son Isaac up to the top of a mountain and sacrafice him. Now if you're anything like me you're thinking no way! Dude that's Abrahams son, he isn't going to sacrafice him! Well that is where you're wrong my friend. Abraham takes his son up to the top of the mountain and ties him up and is getting ready to kill him when God calls out and tells him to stop he tells Abraham "Do not lay a hand on the boy, do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son" v.12. Okay so WOW! I have to tell you, I have a hard time giving God everything. There are things that I like to take care of alone but, after hearing that how can I with-hold anything from him. He loves me, he is protecting me. I want to fear God as Abraham did. Not in an "I'm terrified of the Lord" way but, In a "My God is the creator of the universe and he is with me" sort of way. I encourage you to read Genesis chapter 22 for yourself and see what Abba will reveal to you through it.