Responsibility

Think back to the last time you got in trouble for anything. In that situation did you try to get out of it by placing the blame on someone else? I know for me that answer is yes. As humans we are constantly trying to put the blame off ourselves but, we are in good company here. In Genesis 3:12-13 Adam and Eve have just been caught eating from the forbidden tree and when God asks them about it they play the blame game. take a look. "The man answered "That woman, the one you gave me, gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the Lord God asked the woman, "What have you done?" "The snake deceived me, and I ate," The woman answered." This was my devo this morning from the God Girl book and let me tell you it hit me hard. I never take responsibility for myself. A lot of the time I blame the devil and while yes he does tempt me, I am the one that gives into temptation because I know I shouldn't cuss but, occasionally one pops into my head and I know I should respect my parents yet I still find myself yelling at them. There are more things I do that I know I shouldn't but here's the deal, I never once said "dang I messed up", I always say things like "That devil messes me up" but the reality is I did all those things. I messed up and I need to take responsibility. Owning up to your sins and asking for forgiveness is the very thing that brings us closer to God and being close to him is my greatest desire so, starting today I will no longer be blaming anyone but myself for my slip ups. I know this will be hard but, I'm going to pray my way through it so that I don't put any space between me and my Abba.

Confession time

So for Christmas this year my Mom got me a devo book because she is awesome and she knows me. It's called God Girl and I started it today. It's a year long journey that I have committed to. Now day one's devo was about confession and let me tell you I sort of rolled my eyes at this at first. I mean Catholics do confession not this Southern Baptist girl but, as I continued to read I realized confession is something this girl really needed to do right now. I'm afraid. I'm afraid and I have began to let this fear control me. I have let this fear turn a beautiful God given calling into something twisted and seemingly unreachable for me. I have been praying like I trust God but worrying like I don't (thank you Jacob for that). So tonight I confessed to God that I am just plain old scared to do what he has asked me to do. The task seems too big and I seem way too small. Well this brought me back to that passage in Exodus when Moses is telling God that he cannot tell the Egyptians about God because he is not an eloquent speaker but God's reply sends chills down my spine. He tells Moses in Exodus 4:12 "Now go; I will help you speak and teach you what to say." That's so true for us today. Maybe you're not struggling with speaking to people like Moses but, this passage reminds us that if we are doing God's will and living out his plans he isn't just going to abandon us. He wants us to be successful and lets face it, we just can't do that without him. So yeah I am too small to conquer the big tasks ahead of me but, God is bigger than anything I can possibly be faced with and knowing I am in God's will I am flooded with the relief that my Abba won't leave me and that he will conquer all. And that my friends gives me the strength to do what I can't and the courage to face my fears.

Attitude...

Attitude..it's something that as a teenager I struggle with a lot. My mom is constantly telling me to check my attitude but, what I never realized is that attitude greatly effects my relationship with God but, these last few days, I've come to notice that it really does. I have been struggling in some of my earthly relationships and I have just had a really negative, unchristlike attitude and I kind of took it out on God. In the midst of those struggles I began to feel like God had left me to deal with it all alone and instead of trusting in Him and what His word says, I began to have a really negative attitude towards Him and got really angry that He would leave me and got totally freaked out all because some "feeling" was no longer there. I lost the "feeling" because of my negative attitude. I had decided that everyone had abandoned me including God and refused to feel His presence. James 4:8 says "Come near to God and he will come near to you." That's one of my favorite verses because it reminds me that all I have to do is come to Him and He is there but, my negative attitude blocked that out and I lost sight of it. It's crazy to me that I let some fights with friends erase 18 years worth of my relationship with Abba. Paul is one of my favorite Bible heroes. He endured so much pain and suffering yet, he never complained or had a bad attitude about it. He just took what came and praised God. In Philippians 2:5 Paul writes "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus". He definantly walked that out, so what about us? Well clearly I need to work on my Christ like attitude and I definantly will be. What about you? Praise God today for all He has blessed you with. That's an easy way to remember that He loves you and never leaves you, and that will surely help get your attitude back on track:)

Needs

So I work in a Kindergarten class a couple of days a week and it's the most fun ever. If you haven't been around kids much, let me just tell you kindergarten is a really fun age. They're so funny and everything is new to them. Well this week in kindergarten we discussed wants and needs. This concept was not easy for them to grasp. You try convincing a five year old that a spider man castle is not completly neccessary! It's not easy but, when I thought about it I realized that even as teenagers and adults we often confuse the two but, I'm not here to tell you this world is materialistic. As true as that is I simply cannot preach to you on an area I struggle so much with. But here is where I'm going with this, tonight my youth group went caroling and I had so much fun and spent time with my awesome friends and when I got home I was reflecting on all this and listening to "Healing is in Your Hands" by Christy Nockels, and I became overwhelmed by my NEED to spend intimate, alone time with my Abba. As tears poured down my face I pulled out my prayer journal and just poured out my heart to my Father in heaven who just wanted to listen and surrond me and hold me up. I spend a lot of time with my Abba but, sometimes it's just out of routine or the fact that I feel like I have to but, tonight I NEEDED him to the point that my heart and soul ached for him and tears flooded the pages of my journal. We should want to spend time with God but, in reality it is a need. Just like the song says healing really is in his hands. He really really loves us and it was in those soul aching moments spent in prayer with him that I became overwhelmed all over again by him. I need him, I want him too but, I actually need him. Without him my heart aches. We all need to realize just how much we need him. He is wonderful and loving and beautiful. Don't let your need for him in your life go without being met:)