Panama

So it's been a while since I've felt led to blog but, I'm getting ready to leave on a mission trip to Panama City, Panama and I just really felt led to write again. So tonight I was doing my devo out of the book of Philippians chapter 4 which in verse 8 says

"Summing it all up, my friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious-the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse."

This was just what I needed to hear before leving to go on mission. A lot of the time I make my mission trips about me and my comfort and my well being and when things don't go the way I want them to I tend to focus on that and loose sight of why I'm really there in the first place. I love this reminder to focus on the good things, like the fact that I'm gonna get to see 800 kids and share the gospel with them or the fact that I even have the opportunity to be there in the first place. God has blessed me beyond belief and It's my goal to focus on His gracious blessings my entire trip and be open to Him. Please be in prayer for our team:)

What am I holding onto?

It's been a while. I guess I just havent felt inspired to write but, tonight I feel like I should. I was sitting in my room tonight, thinking about how I miss my friends. I haven't seen much of them lately, we've all been busy, and I was hoping to talk to one of them tonight and it didn't happen and I was sad. As I set there sad trying to focus on a quiet time with Abba, I just kept thinking to the story of the rich young ruler. We all know the story, The rich young ruler asks Jesus what it takes to follow him and Jesus tells him to go sell everything he owned and he became sad because he was a wealthy man and he valued that more than following Christ. When I think about this story I always think that there is no worldly possesion I own that I wouldn't give up to follow Christ. I don't have huge amounts of stuff but, I'm quite blessed and still there is no posession that I wouln't give up to follow Him. Tonight though, I was smacked in the face with the fact that I hold so tightly to my friendships and if God asked me to give them up, I honestly don't know what I would do. Matthew 19:22 says:

"When the young man heard this, he went away sad because he had great wealth."

I don't want that to be my story. I don't want to go away sad. God has blessed me with a wealth of great friends who love Him and follow Him but, if any of them are going to keep me out of heaven then I want to be done with them. It's not fair to God and all He's done for me to focus on my friends and hold onto them when all I really need to hold onto is my Abba.

Abba, Show me how to love you first and greatest. I want to make you my all. Everything else I have, including my friendships, are nothing compared to having you. Remind me of that daily Abba so that I don't walk away from you sad. Be my only joy Abba. I want to love and follow you with everything I am forever.